I was up at 6am enjoying the quietness of the morning. That time when your sleeping child looks so peaceful and serene. That time when the chirping birds and the golden sunrise convince you it is going to be one of those perfect days. You know...that time right before all hell breaks loose. For whatever reason, this morning I was to blame for the TV remote not working, for not knowing where my son's DS was and for just assuming he did not want to buy lunch (since when does he like chicken pot pie!!?)
After some not-so-nice comments, a passive aggressive shove and a few "I hate you Mom"s from my son he politely asked "If I have a good day at school can we go out for ice cream?" Seriously!?! Did that just happen? It was only 7:20 am and I was already exhausted. After he was safely on the bus pulling out of the neighborhood with his angry little freckled face glaring at me that's when the real parenting had to start. I always struggle with what are the right consequences for these nasty little behaviors. We want our kids to learn that there are consequences for bad behavior but we need to be creative to find the right one that teaches a lesson and gets our point across.
Even after 11 years of trying to do the right thing I still google "consequences" for inspiration!! I frequent many websites and blogs that offer parenting tips in the hopes of finding just the right consequence that doesn't make my life 10 times worse.
Here are a few ideas that have worked for us and a few new ones I am adding to my list. If you have some ideas of your own please share!!! We all need a little help keeping our sanity!!!
Mommy's Ransom Box
I LOVE this idea!! I found it on Pinterest.
Kids won't pick up their toys?
Put them in the ransom box.
Kids have to do one of the chores on the box
to rescue their toy. BRILLIANT!!
I am going to need a HUGE box!
I am going to need a HUGE box!
Chore Envelope
Backtalk, disrespect,calling mom "Lazy"
That is a definite trip to the chore envelope.
My son picks a chore and has to complete it before
he can watch TV or play video games.
Lots of complaining but he gets it done.
Bonus....My windows are finally getting cleaned!!!
Apology Letter
The name calling and rude comments can be hurtful.
I believe an apology letter teaches our children to take
responsibility for their actions. Once again, no privileges
until it is complete. My son hates to write so I let him
use a computer. (Spell check not mandatory!)
use a computer. (Spell check not mandatory!)
Mom Money
Of course it's not all about focusing on the bad.
Positive reinforcement is just as important in building
self esteem.When I catch my son doing something good
(walking away from the Xbox when he loses instead of
throwing the remote, encouraging a friend, putting the dog
out without me asking) I slip him a mom money.
He can trade in 5 mom bills for 1 dollar bill. They can also
be traded in for time on the computer or playing video games
or a trip to the Dairy Queen. Whatever motivates your child.
or a trip to the Dairy Queen. Whatever motivates your child.
Trade Off
Do your kids spend too much time playing with electronics,
watching TV or surfing the Internet? Encourage them to play
outside, ride a bike or exercise. 30 minutes outside equals
30 minutes of an indoor activity they enjoy. Go outside and
play ball or hula hoop or garden with your kids. That time
spent together is priceless.
***Disclaimer: I am not a therapist, a counselor or a child behavior specialist.
Just a mom looking for creative ways to help lead her son in the right direction.
Your suggestions are encouraged.....especially those including a good recipe
for beverages requiring vodka and OJ!
Ahhhh....breakfast of champions.....and frazzled parents!!
